So, today as I was scrolling through channels hopelessly looking for something interesting to watch to avoid starting a productive day, I stumbled upon one of my favorite movies of the last 10 years, Juno. If you haven't seen the movie Juno is just a movie about a quirky teenager who gets pregnant and decides to give the baby up for adoption. It's funny, it's a little left of center, and a comedic view of the actual horror that teenage highschool pregnancy can be. It's not a social commentary it more or less an independent film feeling strange love romantic comedy but one line from this movie really hit me and encouraged me to do this new blog entry.
When pregnant Juno comes home she begins talking to her dad about what love is and if two people can really be happy together forever. Her dad talks to her about finding the right person is imperative to love and then drops this bomb "Look, in my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person is still going to think the sun shines out your ass. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with." This is great advice and something that everyone should follow to find their soulmate but then I felt uneasy. I felt this way because I realized why it's so hard for so many people to find that person that loves them for exactly who they are. Speaking personally, I have no idea exactly who I am. I mean honestly look at yourself and try to put yourself into words. Who are you exactly?
The idea of our self-identity is not only hard to capture but it's also fluid. During college we are forming the people who will become and how is it even possible to find love when we don't know who we are. Even if by some stretch we think we have our identities pinned down who's to say we will be the same a year from now during this time in our life.
Now I don't know if this speaks more to the effort or lack thereof we put into finding ourselves or the lack of ability to find someone else who loves us for who we think we are. I just thought the idea should be presented.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that you should take to find yourself. Define morals, objectives or whatever else you think makes up your identity. Will it change? Absolutely, but this is a necessary component to finding someone that can truly love you. Once you find out who you are, you can embrace others who love you for that reason.
As for me? I'm clueless about what makes my identity. I struggle living in the present and look too much to the future. For now I'm okay with that but at some point it'll be something I'll have to reckon with but for now all I can do is try to find who I am so I can be the person for someone else who thinks the sun shines out my ass and hopefully find sun in their anus as well.
Sunday, October 13, 2013
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
The Golden Age
Recently, I sat down and wrote out the 5 things I wanted to achieve before I hit the golden age of 21. The age where your manhood is verified by being able to say things like "You wanna go grab a beer?" and "Let me buy you a drink". The moment when you are no longer caught in pseudo-adulthood simply because of your inability to participate in America's favorite social pastime. In other words, 21 is a big deal. Rather than spend the next 14 months focusing on the impending legalization of drunken shenanigans, I'm taking the time to achieve all the goals on my list. They are as follows.
1. $10,000 in savings.
I picked the number for two reasons. First, because that amount of money in 14 months doesn't just happen. It's going to take effort and commitment and at that point the money will just become a byproduct of better spending habits and a hard work ethic. Secondly, with that money I can do any number of things. Travel, invest, or help Mom pay for college if the financials go south or the mortgage, who knows, a lot can change in a years time.
2. 3.6 GPA
Pretty self-explanatory but I wanted to strive for 3.5 and if you're going to do something great you might as well aim high right?
3. Europe
This should probably be number 1 but I'm not going anywhere if i don't have the cash or I'm struggling in school. The ideal way I end up in Europe would be through FSU's International Program and I plan on applying this fall when the application goes live. It would be absolutely killer to be able to get credits while I'm abroad. Two birds, uno stone. Additionally, I can't realistically call myself an International Affairs major if I've barely traveled. All else fails with FSU I take money and go myself and hope for the best.
4. Write something for myself
Check. Back to blogging.
5. Take "that" opportunity
I don't know how well I can articulate this idea so I'll try with a story.
Fridays in Tallahassee is house party night. At least I look at it that way. The beautiful night between Purgatory Thursday and 90's night at Standard. The night where my friends come together to hangout and chill at a predetermined location away from the infamous Tallahassee nightlife. One particular Friday we were planning to do just that but we remarked how cool it would be to start at the house and end up somewhere completely ridiculous by the end of the night. Georgia? No. Volusia county? Nope. Palm of Christ the Redeemer in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil? Bingo. We all joked and laughed about bringing our passports so we could make it happen. Unfortunately we didn't make it anywhere farther down the street than Waffle House for some incredible sustenance, but the idea stuck and resonated with me. I guess you could call it the "What if? itch". Ever since then I've wanted to be ready to accept a strange, seemingly unreasonable opportunity to do something spontaneous so when I made this list I wanted to include the thought even if it was really vague just so I could keep my head in the right place.
Anyways, I'm hoping to knock out every single one of these by the time I get to the Canaan that is 21. I encourage everyone to make a list and see what you're capable of. Who knows, you might overachieve and end up as head of some multi-million dollar company just because you made a stupid list of productive things to do which happened to open some doors for you.
1. $10,000 in savings.
I picked the number for two reasons. First, because that amount of money in 14 months doesn't just happen. It's going to take effort and commitment and at that point the money will just become a byproduct of better spending habits and a hard work ethic. Secondly, with that money I can do any number of things. Travel, invest, or help Mom pay for college if the financials go south or the mortgage, who knows, a lot can change in a years time.
2. 3.6 GPA
Pretty self-explanatory but I wanted to strive for 3.5 and if you're going to do something great you might as well aim high right?
3. Europe
This should probably be number 1 but I'm not going anywhere if i don't have the cash or I'm struggling in school. The ideal way I end up in Europe would be through FSU's International Program and I plan on applying this fall when the application goes live. It would be absolutely killer to be able to get credits while I'm abroad. Two birds, uno stone. Additionally, I can't realistically call myself an International Affairs major if I've barely traveled. All else fails with FSU I take money and go myself and hope for the best.
4. Write something for myself
Check. Back to blogging.
5. Take "that" opportunity
I don't know how well I can articulate this idea so I'll try with a story.
Fridays in Tallahassee is house party night. At least I look at it that way. The beautiful night between Purgatory Thursday and 90's night at Standard. The night where my friends come together to hangout and chill at a predetermined location away from the infamous Tallahassee nightlife. One particular Friday we were planning to do just that but we remarked how cool it would be to start at the house and end up somewhere completely ridiculous by the end of the night. Georgia? No. Volusia county? Nope. Palm of Christ the Redeemer in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil? Bingo. We all joked and laughed about bringing our passports so we could make it happen. Unfortunately we didn't make it anywhere farther down the street than Waffle House for some incredible sustenance, but the idea stuck and resonated with me. I guess you could call it the "What if? itch". Ever since then I've wanted to be ready to accept a strange, seemingly unreasonable opportunity to do something spontaneous so when I made this list I wanted to include the thought even if it was really vague just so I could keep my head in the right place.
Anyways, I'm hoping to knock out every single one of these by the time I get to the Canaan that is 21. I encourage everyone to make a list and see what you're capable of. Who knows, you might overachieve and end up as head of some multi-million dollar company just because you made a stupid list of productive things to do which happened to open some doors for you.
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